A Poltergeist In Camelot
by Solar07
Summary: One morning in Camelot, someone comes who will change the warlock Merlin's life forever... "Even ignoring the fact he-or it- was flying, wearing ridiculous clothes, and cackling like a madman, he was the strangest thing Arthur had ever seen." Contains very mild swearing. Otherwise pure humorous craziness. I do not own Merlin or Harry Potter.


**This is a little ... I think it's called plot bunny? Anyway, this is just an idea that popped into my head, and my fingers typed for you to read... Just in case you didn't already know that... **

**I'm a little mean to Merlin in this one. And I might have him a tad bit OOC but that's due to his lack of sleep and being driven crazy by you know who. Not You Know Who, but you know who... If you've read Harry Potter or played the games. **

**I think this will just be a one chapter story, but I might so a drabble series involving a certain poltergeist's shannanigans in Camelot. **

**Disclaimer. NOT! I own Merlin AND Harry Potter. They are mine, been trying to escape for ten years, but they are still MINE! XP**

**Without further ado... I give you ... the story.**

_**Once upon a time in** **Camelot...**_

"_I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" _

The cry echoed throughout all the halls of Camelot, causing birds to take flight and for one Arthur Pendragon to shoot up out of bed in panic. He brandished his sword that was only halfway out of its sheath while delivering angry threats to his attacker in a sleep-filled slur. He continued to defend against his attacker with the sword, which was twice as long as it normally was with the scabbard still clinging to its top half, when he realized there was no one in the room. Feeling embarrassed, Arthur sheathed his sword and went to get dressed, since his servant had apparently decided _not _to be on time to do his job, and promptly fell on his face as his legs were still entangled in the heaving mess of blankets that had fallen to the floor.

Cursing, he kicked them away and stood up, throwing on his clothes so he could go down to Gaius' chambers and chew out his pathetic excuse for a servant. The moment he walked out the door, he heard a mighty crash that sounded like Merlin dropping his armor, and then he heard a familiar voice yelling in rage. Before he could think of what would have his servant so angry, who had the temperament of a fluffy puppy (which was probably a good thing), he was thrown backwards into his room.

Arthur cursed, again, and stood up, again. He had seen what looked like a small flying man wearing an orange hat and purple polka-dotted green coat, zoom past his doorway, and had apparently thrown him backwards. He had also heard it cackling, and it was possibly the most annoying, ear-grating cackle he had ever heard.

Not knowing what to expect, he cautiously poked his head out into the hallway. Suddenly, he saw his servant spin around the corner, looking like he was ready to strangle something, and oddly missing both his jacket and his scarf, or _neckerchief _as Merlin had _kindly _corrected him. Arthur grabbed his arm as he tried to run past and pulled him to stop.

"Merlin, what the hell is-" Arthur stopped, staring at his servant. His face was completely black, covered in some sort of black stuff, and so was his blue shirt. His hair was wind-blown, sticking up in the air, and what was perhaps the most unnerving was the look on Merlin's face. Arthur had never seen him look like that, and he was suddenly eternally grateful that he wasn't the target for that look, or at least he didn't _think _he was.

"What... what happened to you?"

Merlin yanked his arm away.

"What happened to me? _What happened to me! _I'll tell you what happened to me! First, I wake up in the middle of the goddam night covered in _this!" _He gestured at his person, referring to the black stuff.

"And what is it?" Arthur asked tentatively, not knowing exactly why he was afraid of servant but not caring at the moment.

Merlin glared at him like he was an imbecile. "_INK! _It's ink, Arthur! IT'S GODDAM INK!"

"Okay, okay!" Arthur stepped back, but Merlin continued ranting.

"I woke up _covered in INK. _After that, I found my goddam bathtub was goddam _sabotaged! _Then I found all of my scarves-"

"Don't you mean 'neckerchiefs'?" Arthur said stupidly.

"WHATEVER! All my goddam _neckerchiefs _were stuffed in the goddam chamber pot! Do you want to know what happened _next, _Arthur?"

"Uhmm..."

"My cupboard caught on _fire!_"

"Fire?"

"Yes, fire, Arthur, _fire._"

"Were you alright?"

"DO I LOOK ALRIGHT TO YOU?"

"I..."

"So I put out the goddam fire, and _then _I found _him._"

"Him?"

"Yes! Him, Arthur, him!"

"Who's him?"

"I don't know!"

"..."

"..."

"What did he look like?"

"That!" Merlin said, pointing above Arthur's head.

"That?"

"Yes! THAT, ARTHUR, THAT!"

Arthur looked up, and dodged a flying pot of flowers heading straight for his head. The pot landed, creating a pile of broken flowers, dirt, and shards of glass. Then he heard that cackling again.

_"Oooh! Well if it isn't the great Princess Arthur of Camelot!" _

Arthur didn't really know how to reply to that, so he just gaped at the little man that was currently doing loop-de-loops in mid-air. Even ignoring the fact he-or it- was flying, wearing ridiculous clothes, and cackling like a madman, he was the strangest thing Arthur had ever seen. His face appeared to be green, and it was oddly reptilian in features, sporting a pointed nose, and large, pointed ears. He had black hair that stuck out from behind his ears, and Arthur also saw long cracked fingernails on his hands.

"You!" Merlin shouted angrily, causing the little man to cackle again.

_"Ooh, poor little servant's had a bad day, hmm?" _The man dodged a rock Merlin threw at his head. _"Now, now, no need to _bottle_ up that crankiness now. Just let it out!"_

Then the man produced a large bottle from his green and purple coat, and poured it all over Merlin's head.

Merlin cowered as the black substance cascaded down his frame, covering his face with his arms and spluttering.

Arthur thought enough was enough, besides, only he was allowed to drive is servant crazy.

He grabbed a vase off a nearby table and chucked it the troublemaker, but to his astonishment it just went right through him, instead crashing into the wall.

_"Well, well, well! Princess Arthur has a temper! Oh, we will have so much fun! Who knows, you might be even more fun to play with than this adorable little wizard!"_ He gestured at Merlin, still under the onslaught of ink.

"What?" Arthur asked. He had no idea what a wizard was, but he was pretty sure Merlin wasn't one of them.

The man cackled again._ "Oh, yes, we will _definitely_ have a lot of fun!"_ The bottle now empty, the man dropped it. Arthur winced as it hit Merlin on the head, and he fell on the floor, unconscious. The man blew a raspberry, and flew away, straight through the wall, with his cackling still ringing in the hallway.

Slowly, Arthur looked at Merlin, sprawled across the floor. It looked as though he had been doused in yet more ink, or at least Arthur hoped it was nothing more sinister for Merlin's sake, he knew how hard it would be to scrub that off alone. His shirt was ruined for sure, it clung to the man's too thin torso, further backing up the impression of defeat. Arthur was sure that since he had been woken by whatever that thing was he had been chasing it all over the castle.

Arthur just stood there for a while. He felt like he should pick Merlin up and take him to Gaius, but for one, he would be covered in ink, and two, someone might see him and wrongly guess that he was doing something nice for his servant. Which was ridiculous, he just didn't want all that ink staining the floor in front of his chambers. This dilemma was solved for him when Merlin chose to wake up.

Arthur watched as he helped himself up, slipping and sliding in the puddle of ink, he would've helped, but he didn't want to get ink on him. Merlin complained the whole time, but with less gusto than before supposedly thanks to the hit on the head. When Arthur suggested he go down to Gaius and get cleaned up, Merlin reminded him that his bathtub had been sabotaged, and he also informed him that Gaius' chambers was a complete mess so it was actually impossible to even get through the door. Gaius had moved to the infirmary to treat people and to use the extra supply of herbs there for his rounds. Arthur had to think on that, then he had an idea.

"Why don't you come in here?"

"Your chambers?"

"Well, you need to get clean somehow. I won't have my servant tracking _ink _all over the castle... any more." He added seeing the black footprints leading to Merlin's position. Merlin nodded, still muttering death threats to the flying troublemaker.

When Arthur and Merlin entered, they were gobsmacked.

The sheets were in ribbons, wrapped around every available surface in the room. The pillows had been torn up, so feathers were floating everywhere. The doors to every cabinet, cupboard, or dresser were unhinged. Books and papers were strewn all over the floor. And there on the far, written in great splashes of ink, was a ten-foot-long phrase.

**And so begins the reign of Peeves the Poltergeist. **


End file.
